- Previously on Warehouse 13...
- It wasn't the marriage that I was trying to keep secret.
It was me--
The guy I was before, you know, Pete the drunk.
You've never met that guy, and I don't ever want you to.
- Charlotte dupres, who, as it turns out, is a rival of mine.
- If I blow your heart out of your chest,
You think that'll stop you?
My lying, cheating husband is once again out in the world.
But I have plans too.
[indistinct chatter]
- Good morning, mrs. Labelle.
- Hi, terry.
- Oh, my god.
Help me.
I'm burning up.
His name was terry chambers,
District attorney in marlon, ohio--
Poisoned out of nowhere in his driveway this morning.
- Arsenic in his coffee?
- No, he hadn't eaten anything in eight hours,
And there were no visible track marks.
Cause of death--
Muscle paralysis and lungs collapsed
And heart attack.
That's why I'm sending you and Pete.
Where is Pete, by the way?
He's at his yearly physical. [loud thud]
- Oh, god, no. Is it time for those?
- Yeah, wait till you hit over 50,
And the real fun begins. - [laughs]
What is that?
- Oh, this is the last of the stuff
That I had at my mom's.
Yeah, she needed the space.
- You got a flight in an hour, so...
- Right. I'm on my way.
- Hey, steve, do you smell...?
- Yes, I do.
- Mmm, you know, uh, abigail,
It is spectacularly nice of you,
But you didn't have to go through the trouble
To bake us scones. - Bake you scones?
Oh, no, this is my breakfast.
Yeah, they're from that cute little bakery over on 3rd.
- Oh. - Okay.
- Yeah, yeah, whenever Pete talks about that place,
He gets a little...
Both: Drool. - Right here, yeah.
- Yeah, but if somebody wanted to do the dishes,
I would consider sharing one of my scones.
- Ooh, uh... - Did somebody say "scones"?
- Actually, you don't have time for breakfast,
Because you and steve-- you've got a ping of your own.
- I was kind of hoping I could-- - A 15-year-old boy
Went into some kind of fugue state
In a park in new york city,
And he graffitied some seriously advanced math on the wall.
- Ooh, that sounds fascinating.
- Mm. - It does?
- Yeah, don't you think?
- Okay, I'm officially jaded.
- Really? Because abigail and I--
We were gonna flush out the neutralizer annex,
But if you would really rather stay...
- Nope, thank you. Loving the fugue.
Come along, jinksy. - I'll stay.
- You'll what now? - You're gonna stay?
- Yeah, I would love to just unpack all that junk.
- Yeah, but wouldn't you rather do that
After they flush out the neutralizer?
- No, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
I've hogged all the neutralizer fun for 30 years.
If steve would rather stay,
We should let him stay. - Might as well.
- Yes, and I could use a little bit of action in the field.
And I think you and I rather hit our stride
Chasing beethoven's bust, so shall we?
- All right, bilbo baggins, you're on.
- Let's go. - I have to pack, though.
- Oh, you go-- and I'll go--yeah.
[creaking]
- Okay, what are you doing?
- Nothing.
Grip strength is the first muscle to go.
- Well, I know how important that is to you.
- Can I help you?
- Yeah, we're looking for terry chambers' house.
- Ooh, secret service, huh?
I recognize that badge from the website.
Are you here about the d.A.'s death?
Uh, hummingbird lane, you make a left--
2141, okay?
I'm here for backup.
- Jeez, this place looks like a '50s tv show.
What?
I have to do the other side.
[whistle blows] [both gasp]
- You can't park here, mister.
Visitors park in visitor parking.
- Secret service.
- I don't care if you've got the potus in the back seat.
I'm colonel arnold cassel, president of the board here.
I'll have you towed.
- Okay, you want to go?
- Okay, wait, wait! No, you're staying inside.
It's okay, sir.
We will move. We'll move.
- Rules are rules, soldier.
It's a slippery road to hell once you start breaking 'em.
[whistle blows]
- Gated communities--
For when you really miss boot camp.
A guy is dead, and all they care about are parking rules.
Talk about twisted priorities! - Okay, what is going on?
First your hand-exercise thing,
And now--then you yell at an old guy?
Oh, my god, you had your physical this morning.
Is everything okay?
- Yeah. No. No. Nothing. No--no news.
- Then why--why are you speeding up?
- Okay, mykes...
The doctor may have said that my testosterone was a little low.
- Oh, well, that means...
- Well, you know, he--he said it was no big deal.
- Oh. - You know?
- But then I read online that it could cause infertility,
Loss of sex drive and...
E.D.
- Hi, there. - Hey.
- Janice malloy--
26, right over there.
- There it is. - Yep.
- And you are?
- I'm Agent Bering. This is Agent Lattimer.
We're with the secret service. - Agents--I knew it.
Are you guys here to investigate
D.A. Chambers' death?
Think it was murder?
- Why? Do you think it was murder?
- I certainly hope not,
But with what happened a few nights ago...
- To the d.A.? - You haven't heard?
The d.A. Forgot to park his car in his garage,
And somebody broke his windshield.
[imitates glass breaking]
Nobody saw who, but we all saw the windshield.
Anyhoo, I must dash.
Good luck to you.
26, right over there,
If I can help you in any way.
Toodles. - Eh.
- Toodles.
Thank you, gladys kravitz.
- Do you think that I really need to wear--
Oh, uh, that's a bit much, don't you think?
- Ooh, no, after what happened
When the Warehouse was trying to grow,
I am not taking any chances.
- Suit yourself.
Pun intended.
[machine gurgles loudly]
- Oh! - Ugh.
- Okay, something here is dead.
- So...
A 15-year-old boy?
- Yeah. Nick powell.
- He did all of this in a trance?
- Yeah, and according to two witnesses,
Radiating some kind of light.
- So when do we meet nick?
- You know, the--huh? Oh, in about an hour.
Nurse said he's getting an mri.
I just--I see algorithmic physics.
I see differential calculus.
- There's code on the other side.
It looks like c++ or java.
- Well, maybe we should go to his home, talk to his parents?
- Nick's got no parents or a home.
He lives over there.
Nice box.
I used to have one like that.
Lost the lease.
- So, rodger, do you know if your stepdad
Brought home anything old or antique-y lately?
- Well, it's rodge, and--and I don't know.
Uh, my mom might. She should be home soon.
- What about his windshield?
We heard somebody broke it a few nights ago.
- Okay, well, you know what? It wasn't me.
I wasn't even here.
Are you guys--are you guys really secret service?
- Look, rodger-- - Rodge.
- Mm-hmm.
- Uh, did your stepdad receive any threats lately?
- Wait. What? Threats?
- Well, he sent 6 men to death row in 15 years.
I mean, surely someone nicknamed "d.A. Gas chambers"
Must have made some enemies.
- Wait. Are you guys saying that terry was murdered?
Because I just thought he had a stroke.
- We're just covering our angles.
- Dude, that is--that's-- that's messed up.
Um... [cell phone rings]
I-I don't know anything about his work.
- Right. Uh, thanks...
- Rodge. - Right.
Um, Pete... [cell phone beeps]
So I got the forensics report.
They found sodium thiopental, pavulon,
And potassium chloride in his blood--
All of which are used in lethal injections.
- All right, so maybe it's some kind of execution artifact
In the hands of a grieving death row family member.
- Right, I'll get steve to look into those death row cases.
[siren wailing] - I'll go look into that.
Hey, hey, what's going on?
- Hysterical woman-- says she's stuck.
- [screams]
Oh, help! We're stuck!
- Stuck to what? - To each other!
- [whimpering]
- So, spencer, this is not your home?
- Uh, no, it's, uh-- it's my parents'.
- [chuckles nervously] - They're in miami.
- So you were just-- you were just sitting around,
Chillaxing, just kicking like a chicken?
- Uh, yeah, just, uh, working.
Uh, I just sort of reached,
And then it just kind of happened.
- Pee-ooh! [chuckles]
Uh, what--what were you working on?
- Oh, uh, my website. - Website.
Both: Yeah.
- Uh, spencer's this, um, crazy web guru,
And, um, I have this candle business and...
[whimpers]
- Have--have you two crazy kids
Come into contact with any strange objects lately?
- No, I-- - What about d.A. Chambers?
Have you--have you crossed paths with d.A. Chambers?
- Well, my husband, gerry, worked for the d.A.'s office
Before he got fired a few days ago.
Why?
- Just excuse me a moment.
- Hey! - Hey!
- I know it sounds insane,
But they're totally joined at the waist, like siamese twins.
And I'm thinking, coo-coo-coo-choo, mrs. Robinson.
- So you think she was fooling around with this younger guy?
I thought that they were working on their laptops.
- Yeah, right, well, that's what he said.
But I noticed his computer was off,
And I saw him kick some motion lotion underneath the couch.
So, while his computer may have been off,
His laptop was definitely on.
- So mr. Labelle gets fired by d.A. Chambers
And then finds out that his wife is cheating on him
With this--this kid.
- Right and uses an artifact to even the score.
But what kind of artifact poisons and conjoins?
- Unless he has two artifacts.
- God, the stench.
It's like when something bad goes bad.
- Yeah, well, that's what the goo smells like
After it neutralizes an artifact.
Relieving the pressure helps normalize it.
- So did you unpack your stuff?
- Not yet.
- That's not really why you stayed, is it?
- No.
Well, it was, but not only that, I guess.
- Okay, I'll bite.
Talk to me.
- I don't know. I-I...
I guess it was a combination of saying good-bye
To my ex all over again and then the trunk arriving.
It suddenly occurred to me
That literally my entire life is here now.
I'm--I'm finally completely settled here permanently,
Like--like--like Pete and Myka and Claudia.
- And that's a bad thing? - No.
They say you get to share your Warehouse life
With one very important person.
And none of them have found anybody.
And I'm about ten times more shy than they are.
I mean--
- Uh, steve? - I got to think about this.
I mean, is this the kind of thing
That I want for a guy like me? Because I'm already so nervous.
- Oh, steve! Watch out! [machine belches]
[shrieks]
Oh, god.
Are you okay? - Yeah.
No, I'm fine. I-- no, I'm really good. I'm good.
- Is there something I should do--
Maybe hose you down or something?
- No, no, no, thanks. I'm, uh...
I'm just gonna go have a shower
With some shred of dignity left.
- Careful. Careful.
- So, nick, it happened again, huh?
- I guess so.
About an hour ago.
- Yeah, you want to tell me about it?
- [scoffs]
Why, so you'll think I'm crazy too?
- I don't think you're crazy.
- Forget it.
- If you're trying to put me back in foster care, I won't go.
- Whoa. No.
We are so not social services, okay?
So you can relax. - Right.
Good. Believe everything you say.
- Well, you have no reason to believe everything I say,
But I did go through the system, and I'm not a fan.
I know it can suck.
- You were in foster care? - Yeah.
And I wasn't about to go looking
For any more abusive father figures to smack me around,
So I did my time on the streets instead.
- Yeah? Where?
- Minneapolis, three months--
Wouldn't recommend it in february.
And even that was warmer than the psych ward.
Look, I understand being locked up
For talking about something unexplainable--I really do.
We're the guys who explain the unexplainable.
But, buddy, you got to talk to me first.
- I don't know what happens.
But before the seizure starts, I get, like, these visions...
Like I'm someplace else, and I'm not in control,
Like...
Like my body's here, but my mind is someplace else.
- Hey, thank you.
Look, don't worry. We're gonna figure this out, okay?
- Claudia? - Yep?
Excuse me.
- [sighs] listen...
The mri shows massive neurological seizures--
Bursts of electrical activity that are ten times stronger
Than any epileptic seizures.
- This thing's frying his brain?
- Essentially, yeah.
And if it keeps happening, it's gonna kill him.
- Well, he's home.
I don't think anybody's told him yet
About his wife and spencer going to the hospital
All joined up and such.
- Yeah, that should be fun news to deliver.
- Mr. Labelle, it's rex in security.
- [knocks on door]
Mr. Labelle, it's secret service.
[thud]
- Mr. Labelle?
- Agents Bering and Lattimer-- we're with the secret service.
- What's this about, rex?
- We have some questions to ask you about d.A. Chambers.
- Oh.
Sure.
Right.
- Common misconception--
Running does not make you look innocent.
- Today is not the day to test him.
- Now, where's the artifact? - The what?
- Whatever you used to poison d.A. Chambers--
Where is it?
- I didn't use anything, I swear.
I-I just broke his windshield.
- Yeah? Then why'd you take a swing at me?
- I panicked. I knew you'd think I killed him.
I didn't! - You killed him,
And then you went after your wife
When you found out she was cheating.
- Leslie's cheating... On me?
How did--with who?
Do my kids know?
- You smell that? Something's burning.
- Dude, you're on fire.
- [screaming]
[whimpers]
[screaming] - Pete, need to stand back!
- [pounds on truck]
[siren wails]
- Okay, mykes, we--we got to find this thing.
I mean, with burns like those, that guy could still die.
- All these people are starting to panic.
We are back to square one.
Labelle clearly did not know
That his wife was cheating on him.
- So, okay, what do we know?
We got--we got three victims from three different attacks
Which may or may not have come from the same artifact.
- Well, they all lived here at crown heights.
So who have we met in town
Who might be able to tell us what's going on?
- Toodles.
- I'll get us some tea.
- So, um, mrs. Malloy...
- Janice, please.
It's janice.
- How long has rex worked here?
- Um, a while... Maybe eight years.
- Hmm. And was he, uh, especially close
With either d.A. Chambers or mrs. Labelle or spencer?
- Mykes, you got to try these cookies.
- No, I don't think so.
You know, rex-- he always kept to himself,
Even after his condo burned down and he moved in--
- His condo burned down?
- As in with fire?
- Yeah, a fire about three months ago--
Faulty wiring, I think.
And then the board let him live in our rec room
While he settles with his insurance company.
- Huh.
- [squeals]
- Mm. - Mm.
- [sighs]
Oh, hey.
Hey, I--uh, you all right?
- Back in one piece. - Yeah, I'm sorry that I just--
I left you down there. - No, no problem.
I managed to clean out the last filter
Before the, uh, nausea overwhelmed me.
What about you? Are--are you okay?
- Oh, yeah, no, I'm sure that the, um--
The--the goo smell will leave my sinuses in a few years.
- [laughs]
- Guess that's karma for me trying to mooch free advice.
- Oh, no, the regents brought me here
To help with issues exactly like this.
And, um, I happen to know a thing or two
About being alone.
You know, I'm a therapist.
I don't make a lot of friends at work.
- Mm.
I imagine in the regular world,
Once you tell people what you do, they, uh--
They want to unload.
- Or they put their guards up, which is why I quit.
- No, it's not.
Oh, oh, god, I'm-- no, I'm sorry.
It's something that I do--it's-- - The human lie detector.
- Yeah. Yeah, that's me, yeah.
- I meant to say it's one
Of the reasons why I quit.
I guess I don't like to talk about it.
- You don't have to.
- No, it's--it's good for me. I just--
- You want to...
Sit down?
- Yeah. - Step into my office.
- So, um...
Two years ago, I had a patient who, uh...
I couldn't help him.
I guess I was afraid that it would happen again,
So...
I quit...
And went traveling, just me and my camera--
Another observational tool to hide behind.
Physician know thyself, right?
- So how did you end up here?
- I was in burma photographing political prisoners
When I met adwin kosan.
And he said he had a sense about me
And told me about the Warehouse.
- Wow. He found me in new jersey.
- You know, I thought I knew things, but...
This place...
- Well, I guess that's what we have in common.
We're a bunch of lonely misfit toys
That the Warehouse collects.
- Except now you have each other.
Maybe that's why you're so anxious
About your things arriving.
- How do you mean?
- Well, you said you were worried
About not having someone to share you life with.
Now it seems to me like you might have
Four special, unique someones.
And for now, they might be your one.
And it might be time for you
To share a little more of yourself with them,
Which can be scary.
- Artie said you were good.
- [chuckles]
- None of these equations seem to be solving anything.
"for all 't' not equal to 's'"--
What the hell?
I hate having only one clue.
- Is he always like this?
- [grumbles]
- Usually grumpier. He's just distracted.
- So what is this place anyway?
- Uh, it looks like it might have been an old nsa safe house.
Now they obviously use it to shoot porn.
Hey, that's st. Jude, right?
Patron saint of lost causes.
Where'd you get this?
- Um, one of my foster moms.
There was this kid at school who used to terrify me.
And mrs. L said that I should pray to st. Jude
If I ever had nightmares.
I need one of those.
Do you mind if I...?
- You still have nightmares?
- Like a never-ending sci-fi miniseries--
About the psych ward, about my brother being lost,
And more recently about this guy.
He killed my friend.
- Whoa.
What happened to him?
- Ha! You sneaky little bastards.
No, no, not you, not you. I think I've got it!
Here, I need you. - Sit tight.
- Yes, dr. Frankenstein? - Ha ha. Yeah, what hump?
Okay, so you--you keep seeing programming code.
I keep seeing probability formula.
It turns out... [laughs]
Both are used by investment firms
In their marketing analysis programming languages.
- [shivers] can I get the tweeted version?
- Banks hire physicists and statisticians
So they can create numerical price-hedging models.
- Like derivatives. - And other things.
And the bank's employees are called quants.
They're quantitative analysts.
You know what their work looks like?
- What? - Exactly like this-o-rama.
- Nice.
So it's no coinkydink we're near wall street,
But what--what would nick have to do with any of it?
- Yeah, nick...
[marker scratching]
- Oh, Artie, he's having another vision...
Which means he's gonna have another seizure,
So we should be ready.
- Nick says that he feels
As if he's being transported to another space, right?
If there's an artifact and if a quant is somehow using it,
We have to get nick to give us more details about where he is,
So we can track the artifact. - Yes.
Nick, can you tell me where you are or what you see?
- I see a man's hands.
- Yeah, what--what are they doing?
- What are they doing?
- They're doing what I'm doing.
- Yeah, they're mirroring his actions--what else?
- Artie, he's already seizing.
- The downside of the artifact is intensifying.
- We have to stop this.
- We got to keep going. We got to save him.
- What else? - [groans]
Um, I'm in an office.
I see a blue mug and some whiteboard...
A clock with an antelope.
- That's enough. - All right, all right.
Okay, all right, all right, get him on the couch.
All right, hold him, hold him.
You got him? - I'm trying. I'm trying.
- All right.
- What is that? - Joseph stalin's sleep mask.
It's the only thing
That would let that paranoid dictator actually sleep.
[man speaking Russian]
- All right, so there's got to be some connection
Between rex and the other victims.
- Well, maybe they all stumbled on to some secret,
And now they're paying the price for it.
- Mykes, doesn't it seem kind of weirdly lucky
That the fire didn't touch any of his expensive electronics?
- Janice did say that rex was waiting for a settlement
From his insurance company, right?
- Yep, well, he should have had his testosterone checked,
'cause this weight is nothing.
[crack] Ah.
- Pete, this is a notice of a secondary arson investigation.
It says that they found traces of boric acid
In his power outlets.
- Boric acid?
Boric acid-- it burns green.
I saw it on bill nye the science guy.
Rex burned the same color.
- So this is a cause-and-effect artifact.
- I don't know-- he torched his place
And went up in flames with it.
Mrs. Labelle and spencer were boinking, right?
- Right. - Now they're conjoined.
- One was an arsonist, the other two adulterers--
All being punished with their own sins.
- Yeah, but what about d.A. Chambers?
It was his job to put people away.
- Unless he did something unethical during a murder case
Which resulted in a lethal injection.
- So we need to start telling steve
To research sin-related artifacts?
- Yeah, and we need to figure out
Who in this town is so obsessed with morality that--
- Colonel cassel. - What?
- C-colonel cassel, remember?
"rules are rules, soldiers.
"and once you start breaking 'em,
It's a slippery slope to hell." - Right.
- It's kind of a burgess meredith thing.
- It's very weird. - I don't know.
His cart is here, but he won't answer.
- Colonel cassel?
Colonel cassel?
- [coughs]
[both coughing]
I got this. You call 911.
- [coughing]
- Yes, yes, we're at 106 woodpecker crescent.
Yes, in crown-- in crown heights.
- [coughs] - Yes. Thank you.
Colonel. - How is this happening?
- How is what happening? - Somebody knows.
That's why they're doing this to me.
- Somebody knows what?
Did you do something illegal or--or immoral in your past?
- Something-- what? No! No!
- Colonel, you need to tell us, okay?
There could be a connection.
- Okay.
All right. [coughs]
It was kuwait, '91.
Our unit was stranded in a village.
We were outnumbered four to one.
[coughs] We knew where the enemy was.
The locals were harboring them.
They had whole stockpiles of gas.
[coughs] We had no choice.
We gassed the whole village,
Killed 'em all in their sleep--
Women, children.
God, forgive me.
We should have died that morning.
Instead, we got liberation of kuwait medals.
- Listen to me.
Okay, listen to me.
Okay, when you said, "somebody knows,"
Did you mean somebody here in crown heights?
[indistinct chatter, siren wailing]
- I don't know.
- Okay, just lie back. Relax. Someone's here to help you.
Just try and breathe.
- [coughs]
- Mykes, someone here is doing this.
[tires squeal]
- Well, we better find out who before we have a mass exodus
And we lose this artifact for good.
- How is he?
- Well, heart rate's low. Blood pressure's high.
I'm getting erratic brain activity.
I don't think he's gonna survive another seizure.
- We can't let this kid die, jinksy.
- So you think that this artifact
Is tethering him to a quant somewhere and doing his math?
- Yeah, his mind seems to be going wherever the quant is.
He described an office.
- You think this quant is nearby,
Or is he affecting nick at a distance?
- Well, it theoretically could be anywhere.
These psychic artifacts-- they can work from afar.
The brooch that queen isabella gave columbus--
That could make you brave from across an ocean.
- Well, we're hoping the quant is closer, obviously.
Nick said he saw a clock with an antelope,
So I've been cross-checking with new york investment houses.
- Yeah, but why would a quant want to be tied
To a boy who barely knows math? - Wait. Wait.
You said that quants analyze a vast amount of data
And apply them to numerical models, right?
- Yeah, they're-- all firms use them.
- Well, that would take a huge amount of mental capacity.
You see, young brains are still developing,
And so they're more flexible, and they have the ability
To make more connections than adult brains.
- So you're saying that someone is using
Nick's young brainpower to help them do their work.
- Like a hacker borrowing a server.
Not that I've ever done that.
- Okay, what about sir isaac newton's cravat?
It gives the wearer insight
If you wipe it across your forehead.
The downside--it increases your gravitational pull
Till you can't move.
- It does not create a psychic link.
- I got it.
Four wall street banks have logos with horns.
Only one has an antelope-- armstrong investing.
- That's it.
That's what I saw. [Farnsworth buzzing]
- Guys, that's Pete and Myka. We'll keep looking.
- Why do I suddenly want vodka?
- Oh, yeah. No, that's just the downside of the sleeping mask.
It'll be gone in 30 seconds.
But now I want vodka.
- So the tight-ass we thought had the artifact
Turns out to be a gas-spewing chimney from mars.
- Okay, uh, we started with sin-related
And ended up at biblical artifacts
And the closest we got to divine punishment
Was an obscure version of the sodom and gomorrah story.
It says that when sodom was razed for its sins,
A windstorm buried it
In the salt dunes that made it so wealthy.
- Yeah, apparently Warehouse 3 agents
Feared that a handful of artifacts
May have been created that day as salt-covered objects
And took their shape.
- But it didn't say what those objects were.
- But why is somebody targeting these specific people?
I mean, is it just because they live here?
- Or because the sinned?
- Everybody sins.
There has to be another connection.
- I got it.
- What? - Mykes, look.
It's because they're all crown heights board members--
D.A. Chambers, mrs. Labelle, colonel cassel.
- So maybe a disgruntled resident
Is targeting board members.
- Yes, but why?
And rex the security guard is not on this list.
- Here...
You can read all about it.
Steve, keep digging on the artifact.
I'm gonna go check out this last board member, mr. John foster.
- Pete, just be careful.
- And did you hear from steve?
- No, but I did find an article
Crediting armstrong's algorithmic trading
Quantitative analysts for their recent success--"atq."
- Got it.
- So maybe if there's a section--
Uh-oh. Artie.
Oh, no. It's happening again.
- I'm gonna need specific directions.
This place is huge.
- Nick, nick, can you hear me? Can you tell me what you see?
- I'm in the same office as before.
- I ne--I need more. Something specific?
- Door with frosted glass and a desk in front of it.
- Frosted glass and--and desks.
They've all got frosted glass and desks.
- Nick, what else?
- [grunts]
- I know you can do this. Come on.
- I hear that song from the "kill the wabbit" cartoon.
- Artie, I don't know--he keeps hearing "kill the wabbit."
- "kill the wabbit"?
"kill the wabbit.
"k--" [Ride of the Valkyries plays]
Oh, "kill the wabbit."
- [groans] - Okay. All right.
I got you.
♪
- Of course, orville wright's aviator goggles.
Take 'em off!
- Artie, come on.
- Why?
- 'cause if I'm right, they belong to the less talented
Of the wright brothers who imbued them with the ability
To steal other people's brainpower--never mind.
You're killing a young boy by wearing them.
- Come on, Artie!
Are you okay?
- Okay.
- Artie, you did it.
I don't know what you did, but it worked--nick's okay.
- Okay.
Lucy, you've got some "splaining" to do.
- [grunts loudly] well, that was
Way more testosterone-y than picking a lock.
John foster?
[line trilling] Hey, mykes.
- I think I know who has the artifact.
Last week the board rejected, for the third time,
A petition from janice malloy.
She wanted to erect a bust of her late husband,
The founder of crown heights.
- What about rex?
- Rex spoke out against the bust,
Saying it would "tempt vandals for no good reason."
- So janice is doing this whole thing over a bust?
- You said it, right?
Twisted priorities, but, you know,
We still don't know how she did it.
She might be doing it to john foster right now.
- Oh, my god. Her chocolate cookies.
- What?
What--whose-- whose cookies--janice's?
- When sodom was razed for its sins,
It was buried by a windstorm
In the salt dunes that made it so wealthy.
- The salt, Pete.
- I know.
That's what made 'em so good.
- Pete, w-what if the handful of artifacts
That were created by the windstorm
Weren't the objects that the salt covered,
But the salt itself?
What if it's imbued with some sort of power?
- Salt from janice's cookies?
Whoa.
That would...
Suck!
- [groans, screams]
Gah! Gah! Oh, my...
- Pete! - God!
- Pete!
- [grunts]
- God! Pete, don't move, okay?
- Okay, I won't, 'cause I don't think I can.
I think my legs are broken.
Myka, go get janice and bag the artifact!
Go! - Okay.
- Oh, yeah, they look good.
[chuckles] I could lose a little weight here,
But, uh, oh, they look good.
Thank you very much.
- Don't eat that! - Hey! What the--
- Trust me, okay? I know what you've been doing.
Oh, my god, the salt--the salt covered a person's face
And took its shape.
- [yelps] - Shut up!
- That's what you've been using to hurt people, isn't it?
All for what, janice? What--a bust?
- No, it's my husband! He built crown heights!
Get back!
Our whole marriage is about this place,
Down to naming the streets after our favorite birds!
He loved crown heights!
He--he gave his life to it,
And they-- they want to wipe him--
They want to wipe him out!
[grunts]
- Give me the mask.
- [screams]
- Just save it, janice.
- [groans] it's getting worse.
- Look, I bagged it, all right? It's--
- Oh, my god, Myka. Oh, my god.
- Why isn't it working?
Okay, listen, we just--now we just, uh--
Colonel cassel, what happened?
- They sent me home.
As soon as I left you, I started feeling fi--good lord.
Is he all right?
- No, just go and please call an ambulance!
Okay, so we just--we just have to figure out
What happened when he left us.
Okay, what--what-- what did we do?
He--
- We gassed the whole village,
Killed 'em all in their sleep--
Women, children.
Forgive me.
- We made him confess, right?
Pete, listen to me.
I think that you have to confess, okay?
- I think I'm just gonna wait till the ambulance comes.
- You can't wait for the ambulance, okay?
The only thing that will work is a confession, all right?
Whatever it is, just trust me. Tell me, okay?
I'm--I'm your partner. Just talk to me.
- Okay. - Okay.
- It was when I was still drinking
And...
[cries]
I was--I was young, and I was--I was cocky.
It was stupid, Myka. I don't--
And I was-- oh, I was drunk, man.
I was drunk.
I got behind the wheel.
It was an...
I was such an idiot. I don't know why.
I lost control of the car.
I hit a tree,
But I walked away.
I walked away, not a--not a damn scratch.
But my buddy dave--
He--he got-- he got thrown from the car.
And he broke both his legs.
And I did that.
I did that.
I'm responsible for that.
I'm sorry.
That was rock bottom for me.
I swore I'd never take another drink,
And I haven't, Myka.
I haven't taken any.
- I know. I know.
Pete, I think it's working.
All right.
- I could have killed my friend.
I've never been able to forgive myself.
- Just listen to me, okay?
You have come
So far since then, okay?
You are a completely different person now.
It took real guts to tell me that.
I think you've got all the testosterone that you need.
- You think so? - I do.
- So no more seizures?
- No. Artie caught the guy who was doing this to you.
We think maybe you ran into him panhandling or something.
So no more seizures, no more visions.
Huh?
Yeah. - Okay.
Uh, thanks. I mean, you're awesome.
You saved my life, so, you know, I owe you.
- Oh, no, come on, it's my job.
- So can I go now?
- Yeah. I mean, I guess.
- You're not gonna call social services?
- Well, like you said, we don't really do that,
And I would never do that, but where are you gonna go?
- I don't know. I'll figure it out.
- Wait. It's just that...
Why don't you come back to south dakota with us?
- South dakota?
Why would I do that? - Just for a couple days--
So we can monitor whatever the residual effects
Of this might be, and then when we're done,
We'll fly you back to wherever you want to go to start over.
- Eh, I don't know.
Sounds like a trap to put me in foster care
Someplace really far where I can't run away.
- Well, that's a good idea, but, no.
[chuckles] and I think I've earned a little trust
At this point, haven't I?
Look, nick, I know the worst part
About where you are right now is that feeling that nobody cares.
So why don't you let me pay forward
What was done for me?
- Yeah, I guess we can give that a shot.
- Yeah? Great.
It'll--it'll be fun. You'll like it.
[bell dings]
- What's that?
- Oh, this is, uh, one of my photographs.
I thought I'd share it with everyone.
- Taking your own advice. - Yeah.
- Well done.
- Hello?
Hey. - Abigail, hey.
- Hi. Welcome home.
- So, uh, we heard you had to flush out the gooery.
That's a bummer, huh?
- Did it barf on you?
Because I cried when it barfed on me.
- She did.
- Actually, it barfed on steve.
- Ooh. - What?
What?
- What is that wonderful smell?
- Hello. Ah. - Hey.
- Hey, guys. - Hi. Welcome back.
- Hi. Nice welcoming party.
How's everybody? What's going on?
- We just got home too. - Oh.
- Pete, Myka, abigail, this is nick.
- Nick. Hey. How's it going, man?
- Hi. - This is a lot of people.
- Nick is just between places right now,
So I convinced Artie to let him stay for a couple of days.
After all, this is a b&b, and where is my steve?
- And what is that wonderful smell?
- I know, right?
- That is steve. He is cooking.
- What? I knew he could cook.
Score.
- Oh, the man is full of surprises.
Come on, I'll show you your room.
- So how was ohio?
- Oh, you know, it was...
The usual--
Snag, bag, tag.
- Oh. Good.
Good--ooh.
What is that?
- I-I took that photo while I was traveling.
- Oh. - Beautiful.
- Look at you with the hidden talent.
- Yeah, I was just gonna put it upstairs.
All: No. - Leave it here.
- Leave it. - It's cool.
- [clears throat]
- Oh. - Is that lasagna?
- Oh, that looks so... - Lasagna?
Can I have some?
- So, steve-o, how'd your physical go?
- It turns out I am gay.
- Mykes, when's your physical? - Don't eat it all!
- Mine's coming up this week.
- Okay.
- There's lots. There's lots, Artie--plenty.
- The doctor will see you now, ms. Bering.
[man speaking indistinctly]
- Myka.
Myka...
Did you hear what I said?
I said we could be looking at ovarian cancer.
I think we should discuss treatment options, Myka.